Fake News (FPF) | Mirror, Mirror | PG-13 | Gen

[scripted_sra]

Title: Mirror, Mirror
Fandom: Fake News (FPF)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: None, shockingly.
Warning: It’s stylistic. Bear with me.
Summary: liberal!"Stephen" and conservative!"Stephen" are mirror images of one another.
Word Count: 1,028
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: I have written one other fic in a similar vein (quite awhile ago, in another fandom entirely) and I thought it was the perfect format for this one. Involves the liberalverse, in which sailorptah has a few things written (go check them out, for they are fabulous). She is evil and commands an army of nefarious ninja attack bunnies; therefore, this is all her fault. Thank you for the beta, Abigail. Oh, and in case you're wondering: hell yes this was a bitch to code.


“I have to look perfect,” he says to his mirror,

absently stroking at his beard and looking smugly at his unruly head of hair.

examining his clean-shaven face and looking critically at his perfectly-coiffed hair.

His reflection is the only person he can talk to, the only one who gets him, who allows him to be honest. It’s far too dangerous to trust anyone else, and he’s made an art of keeping people away by

pulling them too close, stepping gaily across their boundaries and sending them fleeing as fast as they can in the opposite direction.

erecting impenetrable barriers, lashing out at any who dare attempt to break them down, scaring them away before they even get started.

Other people don’t understand. They question why he acts this way, pretend as if they know better, as though he’s oblivious. Like

Jon! Spineless, middle-hugging, golden-mean-fallacy-loving coward, nowhere near bold enough to take a firm side, as though that’s something to be proud of.

Jon! Spineless, bleeding-heart, elitist-fact-loving coward, too wimp-willed to even shout back, as though being “reasonable” ever made any difference.

He knows Jon means well, knows that Jon cares, but Stephen also knows what he’s doing. He knows he can’t allow Jon to see any deeper than he already does; he can’t let him see how afraid he is, that he’s terrified of

snapping one day, of allowing his anger to swallow him whole, of being consumed by it, letting it run him, making him push things too far, making him violent, making him doubt himself.

losing his steam, of not being able to keep up the steady current of rage, of having to stop, slow down, being forced to think, to consider, making him wonder, making him doubt himself.

He can’t tell Jon what he needs; he can’t tell anyone. That secret is too shameful, too off-putting, too utterly mortifying. How would anyone react if they knew that he

wants to enforce the restrictions and boundaries he decries every day, to be in control, to dominate.

wants to be ruled by the restrictions and boundaries he claims he’s created, to be in someone else’s control, to submit.

Even if they didn’t react with disgust, with horror, or revulsion, what’s to stop him from taking it too far? He’d let it get out of hand, let on that he’s

drowning in greyscale.

trapped in the rigidity of black and white.

His reflection won’t judge him, at least, will give him the support he needs. He can get this out somewhere, in a way that’s safe. He knows it’s best this way, because after all, how horrible would it be if something changed, if he became someone new, someone who

never saw any nuance and missed the most important pieces of all?

saw nothing but nuance and missed the big picture entirely?

He looks again in the mirror, concentrating this time, because he needs to get on with the day, with his life. He needs to get ready, to start the illusion, and he’s expecting to see

a smile on his lips, the light in his eyes, knowing emotion is the key, that he’s better than everyone else (and he’ll tell them if they doubt it, because he’s worked hard to be elite, though of course it’s just so obvious).

his lips pursed into a firm line, his eyes expressing sternness, knowing that stoicism is the key, that he’s better than everyone else (not that he’d say so, because he’s a regular guy, but it’s just so obvious).

Instead he sees lines that shouldn’t be there, a weariness etched on his features. Why does he look tired, unsure, and possibly just the tiniest bit sad? It doesn’t make any sense. This isn’t the carefully crafted image he’s trying to show to others; this is something else entirely, something that exposes him for the

monster he is, with the bubbling anger simmering, surging abruptly and violently, waiting for the right moment to strike, to unleash itself, waiting for him to let it boil him alive.

sissy he is, with the near-freezing current of repressed emotion running through his veins, waiting for the right moment to seep out, to leak themselves, waiting for him to let it drown him entirely.

He knows that pretending isn’t exactly easy, but it’s necessary. He can’t show this kind of expression to the world, most certainly not; it gives far too much away. He won’t let it happen, not now, not ever. He’ll keep it in check if it kills him, and he thinks that is what it’s threatening to do, but he won’t let himself panic. The best response in this situation is

factiness, telling himself the facts of the matter, in a calm, disinterested tone, because surely that is the way to stop the churning of anger beneath the surface.

truthiness, telling himself over and over again that things are okay, because if he says it enough it will be, stopping any emotion bubbling up in its tracks.

Maybe the mirror isn’t helping him. Maybe he can’t trust his reflection after all. Instead of an ally, perhaps he’s a foe, someone who will betray his secrets, who will let slip that he’s living a lie, who will tell everyone that he doubts, sometimes, if he’s doing the right thing. Maybe his reflection is trying to trick him, trying to get him to confess.

He won't let it!

He won’t let it!

In an instant, the face in the mirror blurs, and maybe he’s seeing himself or a reflection of a self that has a resemblance but isn’t his—

because he would never use that much hair gel, or conform that rigidly to the ridiculous, constraining structures surrounding a man’s appearance.

because he would never let his hair get that wild, or refuse to shave for so long, because men were not supposed to run around looking like unwashed hippies.

—and then the mirror shatters. He manages to be surprised, even as the blood from his hand falls in perfect little droplets to the basin of the sink below, the bright red color contrasting sharply against the stark white of the porcelain.

Comments

[sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com]

I FEEL LIKE YOU JUST DIVIDED BY ZERO IN MY CEREBRAL CORTEX

[scripted_sra]

UM IS THAT A GOOD THING? I HOPE SO.

[themistoklis]

Oh, that was gorgeous. I keep looking it back over because each line works so well with its reflection. Loved the ending, too, I was absorbed enough to jerk when the mirror broke.

[scripted_sra]

That is really great to hear. It's what I was hoping would happen with the ending.

Thank you very much. :D

[canadian-plant.livejournal.com]

Really, really well-written. "Stephen" just can't help being screwed up, can he?

[scripted_sra]

It certainly doesn't seem that way, does it? Poor "Stephen".

Thank you. :D

[melannen.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was amazing! All Stephens have in common that they will break you heart.

[scripted_sra]

That is definitely true.

Thank you!

[pwink--dolphin.livejournal.com]

My brain. It has just exploded from the sheer awesomeness.

You, my dear, win the internets! :D This was amazinggggg.

[scripted_sra]

I am always happy to take credit for exploded brains. =P

Heee, thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

[queenofspades89.livejournal.com]

OHHH MY GOD.

THERE'S A BOMB GOING OFF IN MY BRAIN AND IT IS A BOMB OF META AND SHEER AWESOME.

IT IS ALSO A BOMB OF SEXY DUE TO THAT THREAD UP THERE WITH ALL THE STEPHEN/STEPHEN AND JON/JON AND AIWJGAOWIBASLKJAWOIBJZFKBAWOEIRAJWEOIABJSDLK. WHAT. I CAN'T. EVEN. BRAIN. NO.

SO BASICALLY? THIS = YESSSSSSSSSSSS

[scripted_sra]

EXCELLENT. :D

Yeah, that Stephen/Stephen and Jon/Jon stuff got to me too! It's like an ice cream brain freeze. It hurts a little, but getting there is so delicious you never want to stop!

Hahaha, thank you very much. :D

[erinptah]

And I have neglected to tell you directly how awesome this is.

Although, in my mind, l!Stephen's trust issues are actually flipped - it isn't that he doesn't trust people; it's that he trusts them too much. Like, if a completely random stranger walked up to him and said "You suck," he would go, "All right, your opinion is completely valid, and if you have any advice for me on how to suck less, I'll be glad to follow it." It's only his own thoughts and feelings and convictions that he doesn't trust.

And he chastises Jon for daring to call people on the carpet and yell at them. "Why were you so mean to Cramer, Jon? Didn't you see he was upset? How could you hurt his feelings like that?"

that he’s better than everyone else (and he’ll tell them if they doubt it, because he’s worked hard to be elite, though of course it’s just so obvious).

Oh, ouch. Stab to the gut, that one. (He cannot understand why this upsets people, either. After all, he does have an Ivy League degree - that's a fact, so how is it arrogant to tell them so? They must be getting upset out of repressed jealousy! What else could it be?)

[scripted_sra]

Although, in my mind, l!Stephen's trust issues are actually flipped - it isn't that he doesn't trust people; it's that he trusts them too much.

I see what you're saying, but my thought processes are similar to what I was saying about the appearance thing. By doing what you described, he's effectively going so far he pushes through to the opposite side. It's like with the boundaries thing. Both l!"Stephen" and c!"Stephen manage to keep people at arms length. l!"Stephen" does this by appearing to have absolutely no boundaries of his own, thus scaring people off, whereas c!"Stephen" does this by erecting nearly-impenetrable boundaries, so even if you wanted to get close you'd get discouraged and give up. It's the opposite way of going about it, but it still ends up at the same thing: no one is really all that close to either of them, save Jon.

(If that doesn't make sense, I apologize; I just woke up.)

ETA: I was thinking about this some more and wanted to add: it's impossible to trust everyone, which is why I think it makes it seem like he doesn't trust anyone. It'd be like simultaneously trusting someone who said, "The world is flat." and someone who said, "The world is round." You can't trust them both, because they're contradicting each other. So I think in the process of l!"Stephen" trying to trust everyone he really just kind of ends up going nowhere.

Also, I don't think c!"Stephen" remotely trusts himself. He certainly projects that image, but he's as insecure as you can get at the core of things. Which is part of why I think that they basically do the same thing in terms of trust.

Does any of this babble make any sense? I hope so.

And thank you! Both for the comment and the handy C4 to throw at my writer's block; I've been trying to produce something for ages with no success. =P

(The downside to the fic journal is that I give up my handy ability to edit comments, so I have to repost things. D:)

[libco.livejournal.com]

Excellent!

[scripted_sra]

Thank you! :D

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Stephen is destined to be messed up, isn't he? Either version breaks my heart into tiny little pieces and makes me want to hug him like crazy.

YOU ARE A FUCKING AWESOME CHARACTER NINJA. THAT IS ALL.

...well, not really all, cos I have more to say: l!Stephen and c!Stephen getting together? Absolute utter messed uppedness, because they'd push each other to their extremes, and it would NOT BE PRETTY.

But I'd love the angst, because I'm a little messed up that way.

Having the Jons swapping their Stephens is cute. They could give each other tips. Reinforce the hope that there are other layers underneath the facade, because they've seen them. But in the end, love their own Stephens best.

[scripted_sra]

That, I think, is simply the nature of "Stephen", no matter what version you focus on. *pets him*

Absolute utter messed uppedness, because they'd push each other to their extremes, and it would NOT BE PRETTY.

VERY true. It would not end up being healthy. At all.

I just love the image of the two Jons sitting somewhere and having coffee and comparing notes on their Stephens and their sex lives, all nonchalantly, like this is a totally normal conversation to be having and not like they're talking to their interdimensional mirror counterpart. =P

Thank you. :D

[jmie.livejournal.com]

Sra, I love you.

You always write so well, and having someone play in someone else's litterbox (because I like kitties, though sandbox is a perfectly fine term) is always a good thing, too.

I like the physical lay-out of the fic itself, and damn if I don't feel for left-wing Stephen. He's... like an actual person, not just a charicature of "Stephen," himself.

[scripted_sra]

I like the physical lay-out of the fic itself, and damn if I don't feel for left-wing Stephen. He's... like an actual person, not just a charicature of "Stephen," himself.

I think that's one of the highest compliments I could've gotten, considering there are only a handful of fics about l!"Stephen".

Thank you kindly. &hearts

reposted for grammar fail

[gaiafaye.livejournal.com]

Oooh.

wants to enforce the restrictions and boundaries he decries every day, to be in control, to dominate.

wants to be ruled by the restrictions and boundaries he claims he’s created, to be in someone else’s control, to submit.

This difference was the most interesting to me. Like liberal!Stephen sees himself as a dangerous person who people should be protected from, and conservative!Stephen sees himself in danger and needing protection. The threat from within vs. the threat from without. (Wow, it seems ridiculously obvious when I type it out like that but I haven't given much thought to liberal!Stephen before, so... yeah.)

[scripted_sra]

I think that's one of the most interesting differences to me, too. I'm so used to conservative!"Stephen"'s secret subbiness that realizing there's an AU (and a canonical one, at that!) where his issues manifest in a way to make him a secret dom...it pretty well blows my mind. :D

Thanks for the comment!

Re: reposted for grammar fail

[erinptah]

Like liberal!Stephen sees himself as a dangerous person who people should be protected from, and conservative!Stephen sees himself in danger and needing protection. The threat from within vs. the threat from without.

May seem obvious, but I'm gonna QFT anyway. (So there.)

[holly-cullen.livejournal.com]

This. Just... this. The Liberalverse is my new obsession, seeing "Stephen" in such a new light, and I was hoping someone else had tried it apart from sailorptah.

[scripted_sra]

It's definitely mind-consuming. I kind of love it to itty bitty pieces.

Thank you. :D