Sara (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
scripted_sra) wrote2009-05-14 11:43 pm
scripted_sra) wrote2009-05-14 11:43 pm
Fake News (FPF) | Separation Anxiety | R | Jon/"Stephen"
Title: Separation Anxiety
Fandom: Fake News (FPF)
Rating: R
Pairing: Jon/"Stephen"
Content: Prostitution and sad rationalizations.
Summary: It's much too terrifying to feel.
Word Count: 400
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: Originally written for the kink meme. Feel free to ignore my obsessive need to archive everything.
The first time Stephen’s with Jon, he detaches, like he did a decade and a half ago. It’s almost like he’s gone back in time: the harsh wind whips at his face, and he’s kneeling on the uneven pavement, taking some stranger’s cock into his mouth for twenty-five bucks—maybe thirty if he’s lucky. He’s thinking about nothing, feeling the same, his mind blank, consciousness floating somewhere above his head, the only way it’s bearable. It’s much too terrifying to feel.
He tells himself it doesn’t matter, that it can work like this, because who cares what he’s feeling? If he can make Jon happy—if he can please Jon—then that’s enough, and this allows him to stay just out of reach of it all.
The second time they’re together, Jon touches him in a way that makes Stephen shiver, and for a split second, Stephen wants to stay present, wants to commit to memory the way’s Jon’s hands feel on his skin, on his cock, followed by warm lips, kissing, teasing, worshipping. He wants to be able to recall how it feels to have the other man’s cock inside him, to be able to bring up the vivid images in his mind, the ones with the power to turn him on even days later.
He dismisses this notion angrily in his head, yelling at himself for even considering something so ridiculous—so dangerous—and lets his mind fade away, purposely ignoring the tinge of reluctance as he does so. It’s for the best.
The third time, Jon locks gazes with him, and Stephen can’t quite manage to slip away. He tries—oh, how he tries—but there’s something in Jon’s eyes: tenderness, compassion, something he’s thinking might be love, or at least close to it. Stephen shudders with need, torn between wanting to stay and needing to flee, to be safe, when Jon makes him come and then holds him tight, whispers comforting, soothing words into his ear, makes him feel cherished. He waits for the flood of shame, of disgust, the other emotions that overtook him the few times he didn’t manage to mentally detach, but they don’t appear, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
Confused, he meets Jon’s eyes again, and Jon simply pulls him closer, murmuring, I’m here. I’ll always be here.
Stephen, in that moment, mentally promises Jon the same thing.
Fandom: Fake News (FPF)
Rating: R
Pairing: Jon/"Stephen"
Content: Prostitution and sad rationalizations.
Summary: It's much too terrifying to feel.
Word Count: 400
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: Originally written for the kink meme. Feel free to ignore my obsessive need to archive everything.
The first time Stephen’s with Jon, he detaches, like he did a decade and a half ago. It’s almost like he’s gone back in time: the harsh wind whips at his face, and he’s kneeling on the uneven pavement, taking some stranger’s cock into his mouth for twenty-five bucks—maybe thirty if he’s lucky. He’s thinking about nothing, feeling the same, his mind blank, consciousness floating somewhere above his head, the only way it’s bearable. It’s much too terrifying to feel.
He tells himself it doesn’t matter, that it can work like this, because who cares what he’s feeling? If he can make Jon happy—if he can please Jon—then that’s enough, and this allows him to stay just out of reach of it all.
The second time they’re together, Jon touches him in a way that makes Stephen shiver, and for a split second, Stephen wants to stay present, wants to commit to memory the way’s Jon’s hands feel on his skin, on his cock, followed by warm lips, kissing, teasing, worshipping. He wants to be able to recall how it feels to have the other man’s cock inside him, to be able to bring up the vivid images in his mind, the ones with the power to turn him on even days later.
He dismisses this notion angrily in his head, yelling at himself for even considering something so ridiculous—so dangerous—and lets his mind fade away, purposely ignoring the tinge of reluctance as he does so. It’s for the best.
The third time, Jon locks gazes with him, and Stephen can’t quite manage to slip away. He tries—oh, how he tries—but there’s something in Jon’s eyes: tenderness, compassion, something he’s thinking might be love, or at least close to it. Stephen shudders with need, torn between wanting to stay and needing to flee, to be safe, when Jon makes him come and then holds him tight, whispers comforting, soothing words into his ear, makes him feel cherished. He waits for the flood of shame, of disgust, the other emotions that overtook him the few times he didn’t manage to mentally detach, but they don’t appear, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself.
Confused, he meets Jon’s eyes again, and Jon simply pulls him closer, murmuring, I’m here. I’ll always be here.
Stephen, in that moment, mentally promises Jon the same thing.
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Hey!
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey.
:)
Man, I loved this shit out of this! Thank you! <3
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