scripted_sra: Mike, Sam, and Fi, in suits, standing and looking badass. (Default)
Sara ([personal profile] scripted_sra) wrote2009-03-03 12:17 am

Sports Night | The Antics Of The Liberal Media | PG | Gen

Title: The Antics Of The Liberal Media
Fandom: Sports Night
Rating: PG
Pairing: None.
Summary: The liberal media, the definition of insipid, insanity, arriving, fixation, and a cure for writer’s block.
Word Count: 664
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use.
A/N: Has been slightly edited from its original version. The O'Reilly quote is, obviously, not real. (Though if Sports Night the sports show actually existed, I'm sure we'd be treated to his commentary about it.)


Dan looked up from the magazine he'd been reading in an attempt to distract himself from his writer's block. “We're part of the liberal media.”

Casey made a face but otherwise didn't take his attention off his computer screen. “We're what?”

“We're part of the liberal media.”

“Says who?”

“Bill O'Reilly.”

Casey rolled his eyes. “Bill O'Reilly would accuse his mother of being part of the liberal media if she said she didn't like his haircut.”

“How does criticizing a haircut make you part of the liberal media?”

“The same way anchoring a sports show makes us part of the liberal media.”

“Bill O'Reilly's obvious insanity?”

“There you go.”

“Listen to this—”

“I don't want to, Dan; I'm trying to actually work—apparently it's why we're paid to show up here every day.”

“That's not just because we're fun guys?”

“Evidently not.”

“Just listen to this. ‘It's alarming, how far this insipid liberalism has spread...’”

“Does O'Reilly even know what the word insipid means?”

“My guess is no. But I'm not done. ‘Even once-trustworthy, fair-minded anchors are bending to the pressures of their bosses' ideologies.’”

“Is he accidentally talking about himself?”

“Maybe. The jury's still out. There's more.”

“Of course there's more.”

“‘Sadly, it's not restricted to mainstream news anymore. Even sports anchors have decided to take sides, something noteworthy at NBC, and more recently, QVN—prominently on the sports show Sports Night.’”

“How do you think he figured out we were a sports show?”

“‘It's disappointing, of course, but not surprising, given that their managing editor is a notorious liberal Democrat...’” Dan stopped quoting, blinking. “Being a Democrat makes you notorious now?”

“Didn't you know?”

“Indeed I did not.”

“Good of O'Reilly to set you straight, then.”

“I'm almost done. ‘...and one of the anchors himself has been linked to certain leftist organizations.’” Dan smirked. “Do you think he means me?”

“I have almost no doubt,” Casey said, semi-absently, as he continued typing.

“Good. ‘I had just hoped that maybe the other anchor would stay fair—’”

“And balanced?”

“That's Fox's thing. You can't take their thing. Then not only would you be part of the liberal media but you'd be a plagiarist.”

“Wouldn’t I just be violating their copyright?”

“Well, yeah, but ‘copyright violator’ doesn’t have the same ring to it as ‘plagiarist.’”

“Right. Why does Fox get that slogan, anyway? It's not even accurate.”

“Who needs accuracy? They're fair and balanced.”

“When compared to whom? Benito Mussolini?”

“Stop distracting me. I’m almost finished. ‘...but he has succumbed to the pressure surrounding him. It's unfortunate.’”

“Are you done?”

“Yes.”

“I drew two conclusions from that. One, you fixate on random, meaningless pieces of information—”

“Everyone loves me because of that quality.”

“Everyone loves you in spite of that quality.”

“But you concede that everyone loves me.”

Casey rolled his eyes. “And two, O'Reilly talks a lot, but really says so little.”

“It's a certain talent, I feel.”

Natalie poked her head in just then. “Hey, guys–”

“Guess what, Natalie. We're part of the liberal media,” Dan told her.

“That's just fine, Dan. I need you to look at this.” She handed him a tape before leaving.

“She didn't seem enthused.”

“Probably because no one cares but you,” Casey answered. “That's just a guess, though.”

“I happen to find this pretty exciting.”

“I noticed.”

“It means we've finally arrived.”

“We're being called liberal, so we've arrived? What would we be if we were being called conservative?”

“Hopefully in an alternate universe. At the very least, incredibly sad. I know I would be. I just haven't had a good day unless I've corrupted a minimum of two people with my insipid liberalism.”

“Danny?”

“Yeah?”

“Stop talking. Start writing.”

“Hey, I think I can. Mocking O'Reilly has helped. Does he know he's a cure for writer's block?”

“Maybe that's why he’s crazy all the time. Maybe it's really just all an act so he can help out people like you, Dan.”

“Nah.”