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scripted_sra) wrote2010-05-15 06:21 pm
scripted_sra) wrote2010-05-15 06:21 pm
Fake News (FPF)/Kansas City, 99 Cents | Bought and Sold | PG-13 | Gen
Title: Bought and Sold
Fandom: Fake News (FPF)/Kansas City, 99 Cents
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: None as of this ficlet.
Summary: Stephen buys South Carolina. No one is happy about this.
Word Count: 510
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: Originally an OT ficlet, for dystopias. A very self-indulgent AU crossover with my Kansas City 'verse.
"Jon! Guess what I bought today!" Stephen exclaimed as he burst into Jon's office without even pretending to knock. Jon usually got a half-assed tap on the door before Stephen bounded in, but apparently not today.
"What, Stephen?" Jon asked, looking up. "Don't tell me you bought another Hummer."
"Don't be ridiculous, Jon," Stephen said haughtily. "I bought something much more important than that."
"Two Hummers?" tried Jon. Stephen gave him a look, and he stifled a giggle.
"South Carolina, Jon! It finally came up for auction."
Jon's mirth vanished in the time it took Stephen to say those words. "You did what?"
"I bought South Carolina. It had to go to someone worthy of owning it."
Jon, for once in his life, didn't care how pleased Stephen looked. He was just pissed. "Get out," he said firmly.
Stephen blinked. "W—what?"
"Get. Out," he repeated. "You know how I feel about this—this bullshit," he said. "The government's selling off states like it's a fucking garage sale, and it's not okay. So what do you do? Help them out with it. Get out."
Stephen didn't seem sure about what emotion he should settle on. His pleased grin had turned into shock pretty quickly, but now he seemed to be wavering between confusion, despair, and anger. It took a second, but he eventually settled on anger. "How dare yo—"
Someone else burst into his office then, which was strange, because Stephen was the only one who ever did that. Jon raised his eyebrows at the woman who had entered; she looked very, very annoyed. "Stephen Colbert?" she snapped.
Stephen's brow furrowed. "Who are you?"
"Alex Carpenter. You need to come with me."
"Excuse me?" Embarrassingly, he and Stephen both said that at the same time.
"This fucking idiot just bought South Carolina," Alex informed Jon, then looked back at Stephen. "You may be an ideologue, but you're also an idiot, and Mark Hamilton doesn't deal with idiots. You're about ten minutes away from being assassinated. Either come with me or don't and get killed—your choice, and I couldn't care less which one you pick." She paused. "Actually, no, I'd prefer if you chose the second option, because I don't want to deal with you either."
Stephen's eyes widened, then narrowed. "How do I know you're not here to kill me?"
"Because I made it into the building, you're unarmed, and you're still fucking alive?" Alex said. "Let's go." She grabbed his arm and herded him to the door. "You'd better come too," she tossed over her shoulder at him. "When Mark finds out he's gone into hiding, he'll probably have someone kidnap you to get to him."
Jon stood and followed them, saying, "Who do you work for?"
"The subversives. The organization not trying to secretly take over the country."
Jon gave her a skeptical look. "There's one that is? I haven't heard anything—"
"Yeah, that's because secret underground organizations don't hand out fucking business cards," she said, rolling her eyes. "Let's just get out of here. I'll explain everything later."
Fandom: Fake News (FPF)/Kansas City, 99 Cents
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: None as of this ficlet.
Summary: Stephen buys South Carolina. No one is happy about this.
Word Count: 510
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: Originally an OT ficlet, for dystopias. A very self-indulgent AU crossover with my Kansas City 'verse.
"Jon! Guess what I bought today!" Stephen exclaimed as he burst into Jon's office without even pretending to knock. Jon usually got a half-assed tap on the door before Stephen bounded in, but apparently not today.
"What, Stephen?" Jon asked, looking up. "Don't tell me you bought another Hummer."
"Don't be ridiculous, Jon," Stephen said haughtily. "I bought something much more important than that."
"Two Hummers?" tried Jon. Stephen gave him a look, and he stifled a giggle.
"South Carolina, Jon! It finally came up for auction."
Jon's mirth vanished in the time it took Stephen to say those words. "You did what?"
"I bought South Carolina. It had to go to someone worthy of owning it."
Jon, for once in his life, didn't care how pleased Stephen looked. He was just pissed. "Get out," he said firmly.
Stephen blinked. "W—what?"
"Get. Out," he repeated. "You know how I feel about this—this bullshit," he said. "The government's selling off states like it's a fucking garage sale, and it's not okay. So what do you do? Help them out with it. Get out."
Stephen didn't seem sure about what emotion he should settle on. His pleased grin had turned into shock pretty quickly, but now he seemed to be wavering between confusion, despair, and anger. It took a second, but he eventually settled on anger. "How dare yo—"
Someone else burst into his office then, which was strange, because Stephen was the only one who ever did that. Jon raised his eyebrows at the woman who had entered; she looked very, very annoyed. "Stephen Colbert?" she snapped.
Stephen's brow furrowed. "Who are you?"
"Alex Carpenter. You need to come with me."
"Excuse me?" Embarrassingly, he and Stephen both said that at the same time.
"This fucking idiot just bought South Carolina," Alex informed Jon, then looked back at Stephen. "You may be an ideologue, but you're also an idiot, and Mark Hamilton doesn't deal with idiots. You're about ten minutes away from being assassinated. Either come with me or don't and get killed—your choice, and I couldn't care less which one you pick." She paused. "Actually, no, I'd prefer if you chose the second option, because I don't want to deal with you either."
Stephen's eyes widened, then narrowed. "How do I know you're not here to kill me?"
"Because I made it into the building, you're unarmed, and you're still fucking alive?" Alex said. "Let's go." She grabbed his arm and herded him to the door. "You'd better come too," she tossed over her shoulder at him. "When Mark finds out he's gone into hiding, he'll probably have someone kidnap you to get to him."
Jon stood and followed them, saying, "Who do you work for?"
"The subversives. The organization not trying to secretly take over the country."
Jon gave her a skeptical look. "There's one that is? I haven't heard anything—"
"Yeah, that's because secret underground organizations don't hand out fucking business cards," she said, rolling her eyes. "Let's just get out of here. I'll explain everything later."