Sara (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
scripted_sra) wrote2009-03-03 06:24 pm
scripted_sra) wrote2009-03-03 06:24 pm
Fake News (FPF) | Too Many People... | PG | Jon/"Stephen"
Title: Too Many People Who Didn’t Need To See That Sex Tape (And Their Entirely Unnecessary Reactions)
Fandom: Fake News (FPF)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jon/”Stephen”
Content: References to a D/s relationship and kinky sex caught on video.
Summary: We saw how Jon and Stephen reacted to the tape getting out. How about everybody else?
Word Count: 2,408
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: A companion to In Need Of Forgiveness. Thanks for the title help,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sailorptah. And thank you for the beta, Kelly.
*
DAY ONE
*
Holy shit.
Nicole was a huge fan of The Daily Show. She even watched The Colbert Report sometimes, though granted, she pretended it was satire—she couldn’t handle it any other way, and besides, under that circumstance, it was hilarious.
She’d set up her Google alerts for information about both shows, to be sure she’d get everything. When she got some links to a few gossip sites—Wonkette, Gawker, and so on—about a Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert sex tape being leaked various places on the internet, she had to find out more.
After watching a clip of the video, she still almost couldn’t believe it. Then she started sending emails.
*
Meg, Allison, Tad, and Bobby were all crowded around Bobby’s laptop.
“Oh my god,” said Tad.
“Damn!” said Allison.
“...wow,” said Bobby.
“He’s, uh, big, isn’t he?” said Meg.
The other three looked at her and she blushed bright red. “Like I’m the only one with a crush on Jon,” she muttered.
“He’s cute,” Allison agreed.
“And friendly,” Tad added.
“Not to mention smart.” Bobby shook his head. “So how do you think this got out?”
All four employees looked at each other. “Stephen,” they said in unison.
*
Tracey didn’t bother glancing at the caller ID on her cell phone as she answered it. “Hello?”
“Tracey?” asked a familiar voice.
“Evelyn?” she asked, surprised. Why would she be calling?
“Yeah, it’s me. I, uh, just wanted to find out if you knew about the video.”
Tracey frowned, even though Evelyn couldn’t see her. “Video? What video?”
“Of Jon and Stephen. It’s on the internet.”
“No, I don’t. Why? What’s the big deal?”
“It’s...explicit.”
Tracey paused for a minute before speaking, letting that sink in. “...are you telling me there’s a video of Stephen and Jon fucking on the internet?”
“Yes.”
Tracey couldn’t help it. She started laughing. “Wow. I am never letting him live this one down. I mean, Jon told me they were finally together, but a sex tape?”
“Oh, you knew?”
“Yeah, I knew. Didn’t Stephen tell you?”
“We, um, don’t really talk anymore.”
“Ah,” Tracey said, understanding. Her own divorce had been amicable; she hadn’t thought that the Colberts’ might’ve been more painful. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I can’t say I was really that surprised.”
“Can I ask—who’s—”
“Stephen, of course.” The tone was so dry that Tracey couldn’t help but start laughing again. This time, Evelyn joined her.
*
“I knew they were fucking,” Rob declared, walking into the writer’s room. Only John, Samantha, and Jason were currently in there.
“Everyone knew they were fucking,” Samantha replied, rolling her eyes. “They don’t really hide it. And we’ve all seen that bracelet Colbert wears.”
“Before that, though,” Rob said. “I knew.”
“Please,” she said. “I’ve worked here the longest. If anyone knew, it was me.”
“I never expected to see such graphic evidence, however,” John piped up.
A few more writers walked into the room just then, each sitting down in their respective chairs. Once the room was almost full—Jon hadn’t shown up yet—Rob raised his voice. “Just out of curiosity,” he started, “how many here saw the clips online?”
Everybody raised their hands.
“And how many were surprised that Stephen Colbert is a total bottom?” Jason added.
Each and every hand dropped out of the air.
*
DAY TWO
*
Anderson was pretty sure he didn’t want to know when he got online and discovered his email inbox had exploded over night. Who the hell has a new sex tape out now, he thought dryly. To say he didn’t expect a) to be right and b) that it’d be Jon and Stephen’s tape were understatements.
“Okay,” he said to himself, after watching about thirty seconds of the video before turning it off. “That is the last thing I thought I’d ever see.”
Well, maybe not the last. It wasn’t like Jon and Stephen were exactly subtle. Still, a sex tape? An incredibly kinky one, at that?
He was going to need more caffeine to be able to process this.
*
Keith stared at his computer screen, frozen in horror. He should’ve known better than to randomly click a link without knowing exactly what it was. There were just some things that could never be unseen. The sight of Jon Stewart fucking Stephen Colbert was one of them.
Once he finally regained the motor skills required to click the close button, he slid his desk chair away from his desk, spun around, and stared blankly out the window. Then he started laughing.
It was just so fucking beautiful, that idiotic blowhard of an O’Reilly knock-off being the one tied down and taking it. Keith couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present. Sliding back over the desk, he opened up a Word document and began to type. There was no way he couldn’t mention this.
*
Brian Williams sighed as he sat down at his desk with his steaming hot mug of coffee. This was the way to start the day, he knew: a good cup of coffee and a newspaper. Granted, the newspaper had been replaced with the internet, but it worked well enough just the same.
When a breathless intern made his way into his office, Brian curiously raised an eyebrow.
“Have you seen it?” he asked.
“Seen what?”
“The video.”
“What video, exactly?”
“Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert—it’s a sex tape. It’s all over the internet.”
Brian nearly choked on his sip of coffee. He immediately logged on—sure enough, he had dozens of different emails linking him to said video.
Oh dear god.
*
Bill O’Reilly did not like things that he did not know how to viscerally react to. He liked when things were either Good or Bad, and he could respond accordingly. This was both.
Good: Jon Stewart was finally exposed for the deviant he was.
Bad: He brought that Colbert kid along with him, and Colbert modeled himself after Bill. Someone could connect the two of them, and after the glimpse he’d gotten of the circulating video, that was the last thing he wanted. Colbert was the girl in the relationship, for Christ’s sake!
Management, of course, was thrilled. They didn’t care so much about the Colbert part, as long as it meant taking down Jon Stewart. This worried Bill. He’d had Colbert on his show. He’d gone to Colbert’s. The man called him Papa Bear, as ridiculous as that was. There was definitely a link.
He’d have to be careful.
*
DAY FIVE
*
Anderson frowned at Keith. “You’re getting just as much glee out of this as Fox is, you know,” he said.
Keith shrugged. “For different reasons.”
“Not really. You’re just exploiting the opposite person.”
“Colbert’s a flaming hypocrite,” Keith said unapologetically. “He uses his show to moralize and pass judgment about how others live their lives—including gay people—all while he likes to have kinky sex himself. Why shouldn’t that idiot be exploited?”
“And what about Jon, who’s being dragged along with him?”
Keith, privately, did feel remotely bad for Stewart. Not bad enough to cut coverage, though. “He should get better taste in partners.”
“God, you’re such a bastard.”
“Why do you say that like it’s a surprise?”
*
“Why is he still talking about it?” Brian’s voice had risen, pure anger spilling out. “I expect it from Fox. Not us.”
“He’s focusing on Colbert’s hypocrisy.” The executive was a small, nervous-looking man. He pushed up his glasses as he swallowed.
“I don’t care. That’s my friend involved, and talking about this tape isn’t newsworthy.”
“He says he’s not stopping coverage any time soon.”
Brian glared at the man. “You’re decidedly useless, you know that?” he said, before leaving the room.
*
DAY SEVEN
*
“Of course, Jon Stewart’s deviancy doesn’t really surprise me,” said an analyst. “He’s always struck me as the type.”
“Deviancy?” asked the token-liberal-commenter that Fox allowed on air in order to pretend they were actually living up to their slogan. “It’s sex with another man. I sincerely doubt they meant for the tape to get out.”
“It’s not just sex,” said Bill. “It’s a disturbing version of it. I couldn’t bring myself to watch much, but what I saw—disgusting.”
“Were you surprised?” asked the liberal. “Colbert does consider you his idol, after all.”
“I don’t know the kid that well,” said O’Reilly quickly, glaring at him. “I can’t exactly help who looks up to me, now can I?”
“You’ve said you’re a fan of his show,” he argued. “He was a guest on yours, and you on his.”
“Now you’re just making stuff up. Yes, he was a guest—I don’t only invite people I agree with on. I went on his for kicks. I never said I was a fan.”
“I certainly don’t remember that,” said the conservative analyst.
The liberal commentator rolled his eyes. “It was—”
“Well, that’s all the time we have for this right now,” interrupted Bill. “Thank you both for your insight.”
*
“Why are you still mentioning it?” Brian demanded of Keith, setting down his glass on the bar—just Coke, of course. “You’re as bad as Fox.”
Keith shot Brian a withering look, shifting on the stool. “They’re still doing nightly segments. I’m making a few jokes every now and then. There’s a difference.”
“There is? To me, it seems the same—exploiting a non-news story because it happens to be popular.”
Keith narrowed his eyes. “Get to the point, Williams.”
“You’re dragging down a good guy.”
“I haven’t even mentioned Stewart. Just his idiot friend.”
“Look,” Brian said, “I know you hate O’Reilly. I think he’s as much of an idiot as the next sane, rational person, and Colbert’s a jackass. Jon, however, is a good guy, and every time you even mention the tape, you’re screwing him over as well.”
“He’s the one who decided it’d be a good idea to get involved with a raving lunatic,” Keith muttered.
“And despite being a decent guy, he should be punished for that? You’re more like Fox than I realized. You’re more like O’Reilly than I realized.”
“I don’t care about Stewart,” Keith said. “He can fuck whoever he wants. Colbert, however, is wildly idiotic, hypocritical, and absurd—he deserves as much ridicule as he gets, tenfold.”
“Damn any consequences that may befall anyone else in the process of taking him down.”
Keith looked shrewdly at Brian. “What the hell is going on with you? Is Stewart really such a great friend that you’d continue to argue this with me? You really care that much?”
“Loyalty is a trait I look for in friends,” Brian said dryly. “I try to return them the same courtesy. Is that so foreign to you?”
“Or maybe someone wishes he were in Colbert’s place on that tape,” Keith returned.
Brian’s stare turned stony. “Exactly. Because I’m concerned about a friend’s career and feelings, I want to get into his pants. Excellent logic. You’ll be an O’Reilly protégé in no time.”
“Not logic. More like observance. You’re painfully obvious.” Keith smirked at him.
Brian rolled his eyes, taking another drink. “This is not sixth grade. I’m not going to challenge you to a fight at recess because you implied I was gay. Even if I wanted Jon, what the hell would that matter? It doesn’t change the fact that you’re being a jackass by mentioning this stupid tape every night. He’s getting enough bullshit from Fox. Why not go back to taunting O’Reilly directly, instead of his fanboys? You were doing fine with that.”
Keith shook his head, downing the last of his glass. He stood. “Whatever. You want me to lay off that badly, talk to my bosses. Otherwise, I’ll make whatever jokes I want.”
“I knew rational arguments would win out with you, Olbermann. You’re not as unreasonable, as, say, Bill would be in this situation.”
“It’s my show,” he said simply. “Deal with it.” He dropped a few bills on the bar to pay for his drinks and turned to leave. Before he did, however, he glanced over his shoulder. “For what it’s worth? Better you than Colbert. I’d get on that if I were you.”
Then he was gone. Brian shook his head, muttering under his breath about pigheadedness.
*
Comedian and pundit finally speak out about sex tape, read the newspaper-and-online headline. The important excerpt went as follows:
After a week of silence, Mr. Colbert and Mr. Stewart finally agreed to talk with us about the controversy. “The tape is real,” admitted Stewart. “It was released accidentally—lost, actually. No one was ever meant to see it, and, yeah, I realize how stupidly ridiculous it is that I of all people would be talking to you about a sex tape about myself, but please, I’d really just like my personal life back. That’s what it was—a personal moment that somehow ended up public, and I’d appreciate no longer being contacted about this. Thank you.”
“It wasn’t Jon’s fault,” Mr. Colbert said tiredly, voice quiet over the phone. “I lost the tape. Don’t focus on him.”
It was clear from speaking with both of them that the release of this tape had put a strain on the relationship between the two men.
*
THREE WEEKS LATER
*
Stephen panted as he curled around Jon, sated and happy. He grinned stupidly as he looked over at Jon, still half-dressed in his rumpled tux, because Stephen been so eager to get things under way.
“Oh, God,” Jon groaned, wrapping an arm around Stephen’s waist. “I’ve missed that.”
Stephen sighed contentedly, pressing close. “Me too,” he said. “Thank you for forgiving me, Jon.”
“What else was I going to do? I love you too much,” Jon said, leaning over and kissing him.
Stephen beamed. “I love you too,” he said, resting his head on Jon’s chest. “Does this mean things are normal again? Because I’ve missed you, Jon. A lot.”
“They’re normal again,” Jon said, running his fingers through Stephen’s hair. “And I’ve missed you, too.” He grinned down at Stephen. “Besides,” he added, “any day now, Fox will finally stop talking about it.”
“Oh, Jon,” Stephen said fondly, shaking his head as he peered up. “You liberals are always so optimistic. It’s kind of cute, if delusional.”
Jon just chuckled, and Stephen smiled happily as they drifted off to sleep.
Fandom: Fake News (FPF)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jon/”Stephen”
Content: References to a D/s relationship and kinky sex caught on video.
Summary: We saw how Jon and Stephen reacted to the tape getting out. How about everybody else?
Word Count: 2,408
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: A companion to In Need Of Forgiveness. Thanks for the title help,
sailorptah. And thank you for the beta, Kelly.Holy shit.
Nicole was a huge fan of The Daily Show. She even watched The Colbert Report sometimes, though granted, she pretended it was satire—she couldn’t handle it any other way, and besides, under that circumstance, it was hilarious.
She’d set up her Google alerts for information about both shows, to be sure she’d get everything. When she got some links to a few gossip sites—Wonkette, Gawker, and so on—about a Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert sex tape being leaked various places on the internet, she had to find out more.
After watching a clip of the video, she still almost couldn’t believe it. Then she started sending emails.
Meg, Allison, Tad, and Bobby were all crowded around Bobby’s laptop.
“Oh my god,” said Tad.
“Damn!” said Allison.
“...wow,” said Bobby.
“He’s, uh, big, isn’t he?” said Meg.
The other three looked at her and she blushed bright red. “Like I’m the only one with a crush on Jon,” she muttered.
“He’s cute,” Allison agreed.
“And friendly,” Tad added.
“Not to mention smart.” Bobby shook his head. “So how do you think this got out?”
All four employees looked at each other. “Stephen,” they said in unison.
Tracey didn’t bother glancing at the caller ID on her cell phone as she answered it. “Hello?”
“Tracey?” asked a familiar voice.
“Evelyn?” she asked, surprised. Why would she be calling?
“Yeah, it’s me. I, uh, just wanted to find out if you knew about the video.”
Tracey frowned, even though Evelyn couldn’t see her. “Video? What video?”
“Of Jon and Stephen. It’s on the internet.”
“No, I don’t. Why? What’s the big deal?”
“It’s...explicit.”
Tracey paused for a minute before speaking, letting that sink in. “...are you telling me there’s a video of Stephen and Jon fucking on the internet?”
“Yes.”
Tracey couldn’t help it. She started laughing. “Wow. I am never letting him live this one down. I mean, Jon told me they were finally together, but a sex tape?”
“Oh, you knew?”
“Yeah, I knew. Didn’t Stephen tell you?”
“We, um, don’t really talk anymore.”
“Ah,” Tracey said, understanding. Her own divorce had been amicable; she hadn’t thought that the Colberts’ might’ve been more painful. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I can’t say I was really that surprised.”
“Can I ask—who’s—”
“Stephen, of course.” The tone was so dry that Tracey couldn’t help but start laughing again. This time, Evelyn joined her.
“I knew they were fucking,” Rob declared, walking into the writer’s room. Only John, Samantha, and Jason were currently in there.
“Everyone knew they were fucking,” Samantha replied, rolling her eyes. “They don’t really hide it. And we’ve all seen that bracelet Colbert wears.”
“Before that, though,” Rob said. “I knew.”
“Please,” she said. “I’ve worked here the longest. If anyone knew, it was me.”
“I never expected to see such graphic evidence, however,” John piped up.
A few more writers walked into the room just then, each sitting down in their respective chairs. Once the room was almost full—Jon hadn’t shown up yet—Rob raised his voice. “Just out of curiosity,” he started, “how many here saw the clips online?”
Everybody raised their hands.
“And how many were surprised that Stephen Colbert is a total bottom?” Jason added.
Each and every hand dropped out of the air.
Anderson was pretty sure he didn’t want to know when he got online and discovered his email inbox had exploded over night. Who the hell has a new sex tape out now, he thought dryly. To say he didn’t expect a) to be right and b) that it’d be Jon and Stephen’s tape were understatements.
“Okay,” he said to himself, after watching about thirty seconds of the video before turning it off. “That is the last thing I thought I’d ever see.”
Well, maybe not the last. It wasn’t like Jon and Stephen were exactly subtle. Still, a sex tape? An incredibly kinky one, at that?
He was going to need more caffeine to be able to process this.
Keith stared at his computer screen, frozen in horror. He should’ve known better than to randomly click a link without knowing exactly what it was. There were just some things that could never be unseen. The sight of Jon Stewart fucking Stephen Colbert was one of them.
Once he finally regained the motor skills required to click the close button, he slid his desk chair away from his desk, spun around, and stared blankly out the window. Then he started laughing.
It was just so fucking beautiful, that idiotic blowhard of an O’Reilly knock-off being the one tied down and taking it. Keith couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present. Sliding back over the desk, he opened up a Word document and began to type. There was no way he couldn’t mention this.
Brian Williams sighed as he sat down at his desk with his steaming hot mug of coffee. This was the way to start the day, he knew: a good cup of coffee and a newspaper. Granted, the newspaper had been replaced with the internet, but it worked well enough just the same.
When a breathless intern made his way into his office, Brian curiously raised an eyebrow.
“Have you seen it?” he asked.
“Seen what?”
“The video.”
“What video, exactly?”
“Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert—it’s a sex tape. It’s all over the internet.”
Brian nearly choked on his sip of coffee. He immediately logged on—sure enough, he had dozens of different emails linking him to said video.
Oh dear god.
Bill O’Reilly did not like things that he did not know how to viscerally react to. He liked when things were either Good or Bad, and he could respond accordingly. This was both.
Good: Jon Stewart was finally exposed for the deviant he was.
Bad: He brought that Colbert kid along with him, and Colbert modeled himself after Bill. Someone could connect the two of them, and after the glimpse he’d gotten of the circulating video, that was the last thing he wanted. Colbert was the girl in the relationship, for Christ’s sake!
Management, of course, was thrilled. They didn’t care so much about the Colbert part, as long as it meant taking down Jon Stewart. This worried Bill. He’d had Colbert on his show. He’d gone to Colbert’s. The man called him Papa Bear, as ridiculous as that was. There was definitely a link.
He’d have to be careful.
Anderson frowned at Keith. “You’re getting just as much glee out of this as Fox is, you know,” he said.
Keith shrugged. “For different reasons.”
“Not really. You’re just exploiting the opposite person.”
“Colbert’s a flaming hypocrite,” Keith said unapologetically. “He uses his show to moralize and pass judgment about how others live their lives—including gay people—all while he likes to have kinky sex himself. Why shouldn’t that idiot be exploited?”
“And what about Jon, who’s being dragged along with him?”
Keith, privately, did feel remotely bad for Stewart. Not bad enough to cut coverage, though. “He should get better taste in partners.”
“God, you’re such a bastard.”
“Why do you say that like it’s a surprise?”
“Why is he still talking about it?” Brian’s voice had risen, pure anger spilling out. “I expect it from Fox. Not us.”
“He’s focusing on Colbert’s hypocrisy.” The executive was a small, nervous-looking man. He pushed up his glasses as he swallowed.
“I don’t care. That’s my friend involved, and talking about this tape isn’t newsworthy.”
“He says he’s not stopping coverage any time soon.”
Brian glared at the man. “You’re decidedly useless, you know that?” he said, before leaving the room.
“Of course, Jon Stewart’s deviancy doesn’t really surprise me,” said an analyst. “He’s always struck me as the type.”
“Deviancy?” asked the token-liberal-commenter that Fox allowed on air in order to pretend they were actually living up to their slogan. “It’s sex with another man. I sincerely doubt they meant for the tape to get out.”
“It’s not just sex,” said Bill. “It’s a disturbing version of it. I couldn’t bring myself to watch much, but what I saw—disgusting.”
“Were you surprised?” asked the liberal. “Colbert does consider you his idol, after all.”
“I don’t know the kid that well,” said O’Reilly quickly, glaring at him. “I can’t exactly help who looks up to me, now can I?”
“You’ve said you’re a fan of his show,” he argued. “He was a guest on yours, and you on his.”
“Now you’re just making stuff up. Yes, he was a guest—I don’t only invite people I agree with on. I went on his for kicks. I never said I was a fan.”
“I certainly don’t remember that,” said the conservative analyst.
The liberal commentator rolled his eyes. “It was—”
“Well, that’s all the time we have for this right now,” interrupted Bill. “Thank you both for your insight.”
“Why are you still mentioning it?” Brian demanded of Keith, setting down his glass on the bar—just Coke, of course. “You’re as bad as Fox.”
Keith shot Brian a withering look, shifting on the stool. “They’re still doing nightly segments. I’m making a few jokes every now and then. There’s a difference.”
“There is? To me, it seems the same—exploiting a non-news story because it happens to be popular.”
Keith narrowed his eyes. “Get to the point, Williams.”
“You’re dragging down a good guy.”
“I haven’t even mentioned Stewart. Just his idiot friend.”
“Look,” Brian said, “I know you hate O’Reilly. I think he’s as much of an idiot as the next sane, rational person, and Colbert’s a jackass. Jon, however, is a good guy, and every time you even mention the tape, you’re screwing him over as well.”
“He’s the one who decided it’d be a good idea to get involved with a raving lunatic,” Keith muttered.
“And despite being a decent guy, he should be punished for that? You’re more like Fox than I realized. You’re more like O’Reilly than I realized.”
“I don’t care about Stewart,” Keith said. “He can fuck whoever he wants. Colbert, however, is wildly idiotic, hypocritical, and absurd—he deserves as much ridicule as he gets, tenfold.”
“Damn any consequences that may befall anyone else in the process of taking him down.”
Keith looked shrewdly at Brian. “What the hell is going on with you? Is Stewart really such a great friend that you’d continue to argue this with me? You really care that much?”
“Loyalty is a trait I look for in friends,” Brian said dryly. “I try to return them the same courtesy. Is that so foreign to you?”
“Or maybe someone wishes he were in Colbert’s place on that tape,” Keith returned.
Brian’s stare turned stony. “Exactly. Because I’m concerned about a friend’s career and feelings, I want to get into his pants. Excellent logic. You’ll be an O’Reilly protégé in no time.”
“Not logic. More like observance. You’re painfully obvious.” Keith smirked at him.
Brian rolled his eyes, taking another drink. “This is not sixth grade. I’m not going to challenge you to a fight at recess because you implied I was gay. Even if I wanted Jon, what the hell would that matter? It doesn’t change the fact that you’re being a jackass by mentioning this stupid tape every night. He’s getting enough bullshit from Fox. Why not go back to taunting O’Reilly directly, instead of his fanboys? You were doing fine with that.”
Keith shook his head, downing the last of his glass. He stood. “Whatever. You want me to lay off that badly, talk to my bosses. Otherwise, I’ll make whatever jokes I want.”
“I knew rational arguments would win out with you, Olbermann. You’re not as unreasonable, as, say, Bill would be in this situation.”
“It’s my show,” he said simply. “Deal with it.” He dropped a few bills on the bar to pay for his drinks and turned to leave. Before he did, however, he glanced over his shoulder. “For what it’s worth? Better you than Colbert. I’d get on that if I were you.”
Then he was gone. Brian shook his head, muttering under his breath about pigheadedness.
Comedian and pundit finally speak out about sex tape, read the newspaper-and-online headline. The important excerpt went as follows:
After a week of silence, Mr. Colbert and Mr. Stewart finally agreed to talk with us about the controversy. “The tape is real,” admitted Stewart. “It was released accidentally—lost, actually. No one was ever meant to see it, and, yeah, I realize how stupidly ridiculous it is that I of all people would be talking to you about a sex tape about myself, but please, I’d really just like my personal life back. That’s what it was—a personal moment that somehow ended up public, and I’d appreciate no longer being contacted about this. Thank you.”
“It wasn’t Jon’s fault,” Mr. Colbert said tiredly, voice quiet over the phone. “I lost the tape. Don’t focus on him.”
It was clear from speaking with both of them that the release of this tape had put a strain on the relationship between the two men.
Stephen panted as he curled around Jon, sated and happy. He grinned stupidly as he looked over at Jon, still half-dressed in his rumpled tux, because Stephen been so eager to get things under way.
“Oh, God,” Jon groaned, wrapping an arm around Stephen’s waist. “I’ve missed that.”
Stephen sighed contentedly, pressing close. “Me too,” he said. “Thank you for forgiving me, Jon.”
“What else was I going to do? I love you too much,” Jon said, leaning over and kissing him.
Stephen beamed. “I love you too,” he said, resting his head on Jon’s chest. “Does this mean things are normal again? Because I’ve missed you, Jon. A lot.”
“They’re normal again,” Jon said, running his fingers through Stephen’s hair. “And I’ve missed you, too.” He grinned down at Stephen. “Besides,” he added, “any day now, Fox will finally stop talking about it.”
“Oh, Jon,” Stephen said fondly, shaking his head as he peered up. “You liberals are always so optimistic. It’s kind of cute, if delusional.”
Jon just chuckled, and Stephen smiled happily as they drifted off to sleep.