Sara (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
scripted_sra) wrote2009-03-03 02:08 am
scripted_sra) wrote2009-03-03 02:08 am
M*A*S*H | Discretion | PG | Hawkeye/Sidney
Title: Discretion
Fandom: M*A*S*H
Rating: PG
Pairing: Hawkeye/Sidney
Summary: Henry warns Hawkeye to be more discreet.
Word Count: 502
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use.
A/N: Has been slightly edited from its original version. Originally written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
alphabetasoup, prompt: d is for diatribe.
Henry was having a very bad day. He’d gotten chewed out no less than three times by a few higher ups, there had been far more wounded than he had anticipated, he had a rather splitting headache and he couldn’t find any aspirin, and to top it all off, Leslie wasn’t talking to him for some reason he had yet to figure out. Mostly, he just wanted to get really, really drunk and forget about the entire miserable day.
Of all the things he really didn’t need, the big one was Frank Burns and Margaret Houlihan screaming in his ear about Hawkeye Pierce. Of course, despite the fact that he didn’t need it, there it was anyway.
“It’s disgusting!” Frank yelled. “I have to share a tent with that moral degenerate!”
“It’s immoral!” Margaret screamed. “Colonel, you really need to do something about this!”
“It’s a rumor.” Henry sighed. “Unless you have any proof, you can leave.”
“But, Colonel-” Margaret tried again.
“I need proof,” he cut her off.
Margaret and Frank glared at Henry, Margaret grumbled under her breath about going over his head, and they both stormed out. Henry shook his head before calling out, “Radar! Get me Captain Pier-”
“Captain Pierce is on his way, sir,” Radar interrupted, walking into his office. Henry nodded absent-mindedly and Radar shot him a sympathetic look before leaving.
Minutes later, Hawkeye entered Henry’s office, “What is it, Henry? I was right in the middle of a difficult operation; I’ve almost cleaned out both Trapper and Sidney.”
Henry rolled his eyes. “I’ve just had an interesting visit from Major Burns and Major Houlihan.”
“Interesting? That’s new. Is there a reason you’re sharing this breaking news with me instead of the local radio station?”
“Now, this is important, here!” Henry bristled. “They accused you of, well, you and Major Freedman of being...homosexuals!” Henry’s voice had dropped to a near whisper.
Hawkeye laughed. “That’s ridiculous! We’re not homosexuals.” Henry breathed a sigh of relief and Hawkeye smirked. “We’re both bisexual.”
Henry froze. “What?”
“We’re attracted to both men and women. Would you like me to get Sidney in here to explain it to you, Henry?”
“So, you two, have, have-”
“Slept together? Oh yes, we definitely have. Numerous times.” Hawkeye was clearly enjoying this; Henry noticed.
“You’re just kidding around with me, aren’t you?” Henry asked.
Hawkeye rolled his eyes. “Of course I am. You’re just too gullible, Henry.”
Henry nodded slowly. “Right. Right, yeah,” he paused. “Well, you can go, Pierce. Get back to your poker game.”
“All right, Henry.” Hawkeye headed to the door.
“Oh, and Pierce?” Henry called.
“Yes?”
“Just make sure you and Dr. Freedman are discreet—I don’t want two angry army majors coming in here to chew me a new one every day anymore than I want Lorraine to start dating other men, understand?”
Hawkeye smirked. “You got it, Henry.” With that, he disappeared from view.
Henry nodded and sat down. At least that was taken care of.
For now.
Fandom: M*A*S*H
Rating: PG
Pairing: Hawkeye/Sidney
Summary: Henry warns Hawkeye to be more discreet.
Word Count: 502
Disclaimer: All copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. This work is not created for profit and constitutes fair use.
A/N: Has been slightly edited from its original version. Originally written for
alphabetasoup, prompt: d is for diatribe.Henry was having a very bad day. He’d gotten chewed out no less than three times by a few higher ups, there had been far more wounded than he had anticipated, he had a rather splitting headache and he couldn’t find any aspirin, and to top it all off, Leslie wasn’t talking to him for some reason he had yet to figure out. Mostly, he just wanted to get really, really drunk and forget about the entire miserable day.
Of all the things he really didn’t need, the big one was Frank Burns and Margaret Houlihan screaming in his ear about Hawkeye Pierce. Of course, despite the fact that he didn’t need it, there it was anyway.
“It’s disgusting!” Frank yelled. “I have to share a tent with that moral degenerate!”
“It’s immoral!” Margaret screamed. “Colonel, you really need to do something about this!”
“It’s a rumor.” Henry sighed. “Unless you have any proof, you can leave.”
“But, Colonel-” Margaret tried again.
“I need proof,” he cut her off.
Margaret and Frank glared at Henry, Margaret grumbled under her breath about going over his head, and they both stormed out. Henry shook his head before calling out, “Radar! Get me Captain Pier-”
“Captain Pierce is on his way, sir,” Radar interrupted, walking into his office. Henry nodded absent-mindedly and Radar shot him a sympathetic look before leaving.
Minutes later, Hawkeye entered Henry’s office, “What is it, Henry? I was right in the middle of a difficult operation; I’ve almost cleaned out both Trapper and Sidney.”
Henry rolled his eyes. “I’ve just had an interesting visit from Major Burns and Major Houlihan.”
“Interesting? That’s new. Is there a reason you’re sharing this breaking news with me instead of the local radio station?”
“Now, this is important, here!” Henry bristled. “They accused you of, well, you and Major Freedman of being...homosexuals!” Henry’s voice had dropped to a near whisper.
Hawkeye laughed. “That’s ridiculous! We’re not homosexuals.” Henry breathed a sigh of relief and Hawkeye smirked. “We’re both bisexual.”
Henry froze. “What?”
“We’re attracted to both men and women. Would you like me to get Sidney in here to explain it to you, Henry?”
“So, you two, have, have-”
“Slept together? Oh yes, we definitely have. Numerous times.” Hawkeye was clearly enjoying this; Henry noticed.
“You’re just kidding around with me, aren’t you?” Henry asked.
Hawkeye rolled his eyes. “Of course I am. You’re just too gullible, Henry.”
Henry nodded slowly. “Right. Right, yeah,” he paused. “Well, you can go, Pierce. Get back to your poker game.”
“All right, Henry.” Hawkeye headed to the door.
“Oh, and Pierce?” Henry called.
“Yes?”
“Just make sure you and Dr. Freedman are discreet—I don’t want two angry army majors coming in here to chew me a new one every day anymore than I want Lorraine to start dating other men, understand?”
Hawkeye smirked. “You got it, Henry.” With that, he disappeared from view.
Henry nodded and sat down. At least that was taken care of.
For now.